This story won the
Cha Club's
award for Best PWP.


Note: This was my first real attempt at fanfic.  It feels strange to read it now, as flawed as it is, but it's not as bad as it could have been, I guess *g*.  Hope you enjoy, anyway.

Author: T'Boy 
Series: VOY
Pairing: C/P, first time
Rating: NC-17
Feedback: Sure, why not?
Archive: ASCEM, CPSG, Cha Club, Trekiverse, Trekslash, other VOY or Trek sites welcome, but please let me know, much appreciated.
Disclaimer: No money made on this story, characters owned by Paramount et al. No infringement intended. This story contains m/m sex. Please do not read if this offends you, or if you are underage.
Nov 2000

Summary: Away mission. Blue balls. Love object. Unrequited?

Day three of the re-supply mission dawned on a glorious day. Chakotay pushed back the covers, rose and stood at the window, watching as the sun lightened the sky on this peaceful planet, and people began to stir in the marketplace below. Three days had been spent in travelling from centre to centre on Jevassi, the shuttle now almost full of much needed goods, three days of sampling the variety of life this place offered.

It was a diverse and fascinating place. Chakotay could almost believe he and Paris were on shore leave, not an away team, that much he enjoyed their duties visiting one community after another. Only two more days however, and their business would be complete, and to Voyager they would return with a well-stocked shuttle.

Tom lay still sleeping on the bed across the room. His blond head peeked out from a pile of light blankets, arm flung over the pillow. 

Chakotay felt his gaze pulled towards the younger man, as had happened several times during these last days. 

Listening to the pilot's deep, slow breathing, Chakotay turned back to the window and sighed. 'Tom looks so much younger in sleep.' he thought. 

He turned again, and watched the tall figure sprawled peacefully over the bed.

Just watched him, quietly.

Then he moved to enter the bathroom, and get ready for the day.

By late afternoon, Chakotay and Tom had filled their quota of supplies ahead of schedule. Either they were incredibly lucky, or the Jevassians in every region they'd dealt with were all enthusiastic and fair traders. 

The men had no trouble fulfilling the orders given them by the various department heads on Voyager. Even Neelix's rather obscure request for a rare spice, that wasn't likely to be a local commodity here, was found and traded for. B'Elanna also should be happy with them for managing to locate the various engine parts she insisted would be needed before too much longer.

All in all it had been a hugely successful trip. Voyager was otherwise occupied in orbit, not able to leave immediately. They weren't due back at the ship for another whole day. Chakotay looked over at Tom, who fidgeted waiting for his decision. Return to the ship immediately or indulge themselves with a 24 hour shore leave. 

Chakotay should have ordered them back onboard to report to the Captain and unload the supplies, but he knew there was no real urgency this time. And truthfully, he was tired of the effort he always made. A short impromptu holiday would be good for the spirit. 

Tom's face was bright, a hopeful smile tugging at the sides of his mouth.

"C'mon Chakotay, don't we deserve a break? They won't miss us for another day. Think about it. A planet full of things to do, and places to go." His head cocked to the side, the smile getting wider, and his eyes laughing and pleading with the Commander.

Chakotay tried hard to mask his face in stone as he appeared to consider Tom's words and weigh his options. Finally he couldn't maintain the facade, and a grin passed fleetingly over his lips, and his eyes lightened with devilry. 

"I don't know Lieutenant," he teased sternly. "We could use those 24 hours helping B'Elanna refit the Warp Core manifold with the spare...," he paused when Tom's eyes glinted, a determined, hard line forming around the edges of the mouth.

Chakotay broke up laughing. "OK, you win." he said, and briefly pressed his hand on Tom's shoulder. A relieved grin lit Paris' face and threw Chakotay's heartbeat into overdrive. He wished fleetingly he could cause that expression on Tom's face more often, then ruthlessly clamped down on the train of thought.

"So, where do you want to start?" he said instead.

"Well...," Tom mused, his enthusiasm warming to the subject, "the district around the north end of town seems to be buzzing. I heard more than one of the traders mention the watering holes and eateries are best in that area. How about we check out the action uptown tonight, then tomorrow head for that island 
group about an hour offshore? Bit of sun, bit of surf, a tropical paradise...?" 

Tom dangled the image invitingly and warmed Chakotay in ways Paris did not suspect.

The big man swallowed and managed "Sure, why not? Sounds perfect. I'll finish the supply inventory then, and lock down the shuttle for the night. Why don't you scout out a likely place for a meal?"

Paris smiled and moved out of the door at warp speed. "Aye aye Commander." he flipped cheekily over his shoulder, and was gone.

They ate, then followed the directions given by the waiter towards the night's second venue. They found themselves in a bar not too unlike bars across the galaxy, and set about sampling the local brews. Getting the feel for a serious pub crawl, they left there and moved down the street towards the next likely one. They traversed all evening across pubs and bars, forgetting for a while everything else except enjoying themselves hugely.

Each felt good in the others company. They relaxed and gave themselves over to the charm of the planet.

Pretty well tanked, and none too clear about their current location, they found themselves in a darkly lit series of underground rooms, filled with nearly naked bodies and awash with heat. Loud demanding music thudded through their bones as they threaded their way to the bar. 

Sliding against body after body as they went, both Tom and Chakotay found themselves alternately pressed against a rhythmic montage of lightly trousered groins, backsides and gleaming bare chests. 

Tom was grinning maniacally by the time they breasted the bar. And Chakotay registered finally that almost all of the body parts he'd slid and ground against had been male.

He flashed a look at Tom to gauge his reaction, and was surprised to see the huge smile plastered across the flushed and sweaty face. 

Leaning closer to be heard over the dance music, Paris yelled in Chakotay's ear.

"I love this!"

He looked into Chakotay's wide brown eyes, and Chakotay broke out in a grin of his own.

"Oh yeah," he yelled back, his lips against the swirls of the other man's ear, damp and slightly spiky hair tickling his nose. Chakotay grinned at Tom, finding him grinning back, a speculating look gleaming in his eyes, like he was trying to guess the meaning behind the words, if any.

Finally Tom yelled, "Fuckit, gonna take the shirt off. It's too hot in here!" and still grinning, he pulled his shirt up and over his head, tucking it in the waistband of his trousers so that it dangled down his thigh.

Chakotay swallowed hard, his throat suddenly dry as he stood bare centimetres from a gloriously shirtless Paris. Washboard muscles on the slim torso beckoned to fingers clenched tightly in response. The urge to lean down and take the nearest nipple in his mouth was almost overwhelming.

Fighting against an aching, begging, hard-on, Chakotay turned back to the bar and signalled for drinks. By the time he passed the cool glass to Tom, his cock had subsided to a manageable and enjoyable swelling, just on the sweeter side of pleasure.

Chakotay spied a couple leaving a table within a wall alcove. Lightly hooking his hand under Tom's bicep, he gestured towards it, and both made their way over.

Sliding around the table onto the cosy bench seat, the men settled in and continued gazing out at the dark and crowded dance floor. 

They sipped their drinks as both scanned the room, taking in the sights like flash cards in the sporadic strobe lighting. Everywhere, Jevassian bodies were moving rhythmically, naked skin gleaming like a sea of uniforms in it's mass appeal.

Zeroing in on each microcosm, the officers watched fascinated as anonymous hands clutched hips, pressed against chests, curved under armpits to cup shoulders from below. 

Men moved as one in the dance to kiss passionately and grind their pelvises together, legs between legs, all to the rhythm of the deep, dark beat pulsing in the room and within them all.

Chakotay watched as Paris' breathing became heavier as his entrancement grew, moving back and forth slowly in a dance that grew more and more defined with each passing minute. 

Chakotay finished his drink and left to order another pair, the surreal vision of Tom swaying next to him driving him beyond reason every few seconds.

As he returned, he noticed the younger man's focus had turned inward. Tom's eyes were still locked on the dancers before them, but he seemed almost unaware of Chakotay's company.

Chakotay surreptitiously watched him from the corner of his eyes. The light flickered over Tom's chest, tracing the golden mounds of flesh and shadowed, darker nubs. Chakotay watched fascinated as Tom drew up one arm and ran his fingers sensuously through his hair and down his neck.

Gods he was going to come just from watching, and couldn't regret it. 

'Want him, want him, spirits...,' were the heavy thoughts repeating themselves mantra-like, as he watched Tom bring the fresh glass to his lips, watched Tom watching the dance, watched Tom be the dance, dancing for him...

Chakotay's hand moved of it's own volition to the front of his pants, and he pressed the bulge tenting the straining cloth. His lips parted slightly and his eyes hooded as he moved his thumb across the shape of the cock head, digging in under the ridge and back over the crown. A groan that couldn't be heard left his throat as his fingers rolled around and around the shaft, tormenting his already fevered lust. 

Not really conscious of his actions, he allowed his fingers to move up towards the zip, then slowly drag the metal tag down. His hand grasped the joyously freed cock and he massaged it, slowly, then faster as Tom, oblivious to Chakotay's reaction, closed his eyes and swayed to a beat matched then overtaken by his friend.Chakotay leaned closer, so close, he could almost lick him...

Shuddering, hovering on the brink of orgasm, Chakotay fell back against the seat, eyes glazed and breathing so ragged he could hardly get enough air. 

'What the hell am I doing?!!? Spirits, I'm going to come all over Tom. I've gotto get away from here.' His silent anguish wasn't noticed. If anything, Tom seemed even less aware of his presence, as he was swallowed even deeper by the dance, and the music, and the heat.

Chakotay recovered enough to push his raging hard on back inside his fly, and staggered to his feet.

He turned and made his way around the perimeter of the room, mind awhirl, and desperate to get away from the now oppressive crowd. Chakotay saw the men's room ahead and threw himself through the door. He drew off his shirt and tucked it into his waist, heading towards the nearest sink. He slammed his hands down on to the edge, head held low as he tried to slow his breathing and think. There were figures at the other end of the gloomy room, but Chakotay ignored them as he turned on a tap and filled his hands with cold water. He brought it up to splash over his face and torso, trying to clear the disorientation from his fuzzy mind. He couldn't quite seem to focus, and his thoughts were movingslowly.

He hadn't realized he'd had so much to drink. Normally he could handle a few too many, but tonight his control had deserted him. Jerking off in private was one thing, but almost coming over Tom was, was...unbelievable. He was fighting hard to concentrate, his mind wanting to retreat back into the 'don't-think-just-do' fog he'd just experienced.

Something registered within him then. This wasn't him, not all of it. Either the drinks he'd ordered were the strongest he'd had in his life, or they had been spiked with God knew what. 'Something that felt damn good,' he thought blearily, and splashed more water on his face.

Focusing slowly, he became aware again of his surroundings, taking in the long, dark room, mirrored on one side, cubicles on the other. There were still people in here with him, at the far end, huddled in front of a mirror. Chakotay peered closer, as noises reached him faintly above the all-pervasive chob-chob beat of the music.

As his eyes adjusted, Chakotay realized with a shock what he was seeing. There were three men in here with him, and they were fucking each other, pressed up against the sinks and the wall.

A long haired Jevassian braced his butt against the counter, legs splayed wide for balance. Hammocked from his arms hung a smaller man, whose legs were grasped and lifted by the burly third man pounding into him.

The lips of the smallest figure locked in a kiss with the guy holding him, resting his head against the man's shoulder. His nipples were being pinched and squeezed, and Chakotay could faintly hear moans as the bigger one sped up, thrusting harder and harder, the thighs held tighter, butt quivering and tensing.

Chakotay stood mesmerized. He watched silently while the trio moved harder and faster against each other; standing slack jawed as the man throwing the standing fuck threw his head back and roared his orgasm. He still hadn't moved by the time the figures disentangled and rearranged. The largest one sat on the counter and pulled the smaller man's head against his groin to lick and clean him up, while the long haired one moved behind and took him. The hips were grasped hard, and his toes were lifted from the floor with every thrust.

Awareness crashed back on Chakotay then, and he shook his head, clearing away the spell he'd been under. 'I've got to get to Tom.' He thought, as he turned and left the room, almost running back to where they'd been sitting. Tom was nowhere to be seen.

Chakotay spun in all directions, trying to scan the room and it's myriad of close packed, moving people. He couldn't see Paris anywhere, and his stomach sunk like a solid, heavy rock in the centre of his being. Suddenly afraid, he tried to force himself to think clearly.

Gasping a full breath past constricted chest muscles, he started on a step by step perimeter of the club. For what seemed like forever he eased past and stumbled over knots of men, his eyes scoping all angles, searching for Tom's face.

After fifteen minutes, he'd ventured into levels of the club he'd never even suspected on his first impression. His mind captured fleeting images from the passing kaleidoscope. With increasing desperation he clung to a semblance of sobriety, while attempting to process the escalating sexual scenes confronting him. In every corner, against every surface, he witnessed men, clinched together, writhing, at every stage of abandon. He became more and more tense with each passing moment. His need to find Tom cleared his mind faster than a detox shot from the Holodoc, and he continued his bizarre search with grim determination.

Passing through another archway leading further inwards, Chakotay paused and conducted another visual inspection. His eyes tried to peer through the dim lighting, trying to separate bodies, faces, seeking recognition.

Chakotay froze, as his brain registered the scene before him. There in the corner, with three strangers, was Tom Paris.

Tom was naked. Three men surrounded him, as he leant against the corner wall. Head thrown back, pale throat stretched and gleaming, he had an arm around two shoulders, whose owners were alternately suckling his armpits and nipples. The third man was on his knees before Tom, head bobbing back and forth as he eagerly gave Paris a blowjob. Tom's eyes were closed. He moaned and thrust, and sought the lips of either man held in his arms.

His skin gleamed with sweat, defining lean, tough muscles, and the movement of his thrusting hips brought Chakotay back to iron hardness. 

Walking forward slowly, Chakotay came and stood before them, lips pressed thin, nostrils wide, eyes dangerous.

No one noticed him at first, and he stood there watching everything in close-up, listening to Tom's groans and harsh panting breath. He forced his throat to swallow, then reached out with one hand, and firmly pushed one man away from Tom's left nipple. The man looked at him stupidly, glazed eyes telling Chakotay all he needed to know. He pushed another away from Tom's right side, and this one grinned at him happily.

The blaze in Chakotay's eyes must have registered with him however, for he gently leant forward and pulled his friend off Tom's cock, then gathered them all to one side of Tom, and offered his own cock to be worked over. The trio continued on as though there'd been no interruption.

Chakotay ignored them, focusing instead on Tom. Paris was still spread against the wall, but now his eyes were open, and he stared around in frowning confusion. Finally his gaze found Chakotay's, and their eyes locked.

It was clear that Paris recognised the older man, but it was also clear he was far under whatever drug their drinks had contained. He stared at Chakotay without expression for a minute, while Chakotay returned the look unblinking, neither breaking the surreal moment.

Apparently a conclusion was reached in Tom's fogged brain, for he suddenly turned a smile on Chakotay that made the man's legs weaken. The face became angelic, seductive, shy and sensual; his hand was removed from the wall, and moved towards his own groin.

"Cha'...," he whispered, smiling, fondling himself gently.

Chakotay released a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding and blinked eyes suddenly stinging and full.

For a moment, Chakotay simply stood there, allowing the sight of Tom to send him far, far away from any centre of control he'd clung to. With a growl, he finally let go, and flew apart...

Chakotay's hands reached around the slim figure, grabbing ass cheeks, and pulling Tom's body closer against his own. Helplessly he ground their cocks together, devouring Tom's mouth with his. He pushed them both up into the corner, hastily dragging his own clothes from his body, then grabbed Tom's legs and lifted. 

Tom's arms went around his neck, and legs wrapped around his waist. With his hands full of Tom's ass, Chakotay guided Paris over his cock, and lunged in.

Paris held on as Chakotay rode him hard. The older man glided easily inside. The tight passage had been lubed already and the entry was smooth. 

Paris balanced himself, held aloft by walls, arms, a body and Chakotay's cock. Both were so sufficiently affected by the unknown drug, that all inhibitions fled, and there was nothing for either man beyond this moment.

Tom wailed his pleasure as the larger man slammed into him. Chakotay's mind had gone, all he knew was centred in his hot, tight lover. Months of craving and denial met and exploded in this moment, and he fucked Tom with a fury. His face contorted in a grimace, and he had no awareness of the deep victorious growls ripped from his throat each time his cock plunged back inside the man in his arms.

Sinking his teeth into Tom's shoulder, Chakotay moved faster and faster, until the man he held shuddered in ecstasy, and came, and took him with him.

Consciousness filtered back slowly. He was on the floor, and had too many arms and legs. It was dark, and noisy, and crowded. It was hot, and he was wet.

Chakotay lifted his head carefully, and tried to uncross eyes suddenly independent of each other. His vision swam, and he closed his eyes against the nausea briefly, let it pass. His eyes flew open again when a soft, gentle mouth met his, and kissed him.

"Cha'," Tom murmured, " me." A mildly grinning Paris looked up at him adoringly, face flushed and hair a spiky mess. 

Chakotay rolled off and leaned his back against the wall as Tom shuffled his limbs together and dragged himself to sit next to him, shoulder to shoulder.

The older man was exhausted and breathed heavily as he sat, then turned his head to look at the other man.

Chakotay's eyebrow lifted as he noted Tom's grin hadn't left him, and a corner of his own mouth turned up in response.

"Let's get the hell out of here Tommy." He panted, wondering if he'd ever stop feeling winded, and if his legs would work.

Tom's grin grew wider, and he looked down at himself, then back at Chakotay. He wiggled his eyebrows and Chakotay looked down at his own lap as understanding dawned in him. Clothes.

Chakotay sighed heavily and looked about them.

A writhing orgy continued unabated in every available space. No one had taken the slightest notice of them, as all were far too busy with similar activities.

Shrugging mentally, Chakotay moved forward and started crawling around the floor, looking for anything resembling Tom's pants, shirts and boots. Carefully skirting around legs, and bodies, and swatting the occasional hand away from his own arse, he slowly gathered up the items, one by one, then headed back to Tom.

He dropped them in Tom's lap and sat back down wearily. The younger man's eyes smiled his thanks, and he pushed Chakotay's clothes towards him. They both spent some awkward minutes struggling to dress. Their skin was too hot and sticky, the clothes were rumpled and dirty, and their limbs shook with the effort. The cloth seemed to stick to their skin, and speculating on the probable recently added substances did not help.

Finally they were dressed again. Chakotay took Tom by the hand as he retraced his steps, and led them to the exit.

Once outside, the colder, cleaner air hit them like a bucket of water. The silence, after the constant barrage of sound in the club, made their ears ring. Their exhaustion seemed overwhelming at that moment, and Tom sagged in Chakotay's arms, letting the other man support him as he leaned into the broad chest and shut his eyes. Chakotay's hand came up and stroked Tom's cheek, and he pressed his lips into Tom's temple.

"C'mon Tom," he said quietly. "Not much further now."

With leaden legs, they made their way in the general direction of the hotel.

Warmth. It infused his body.

Chakotay's consciousness rose slowly the next morning.

He lay with eyes shut, lingering sleep still deadening his senses. Piecemeal, stray thoughts entered his head, and drifted around, brushing against his skull, waking him a little more each time.

Comfortable. He was warm, and comfortable, and rested. So peaceful here.


It took about three seconds for Chakotay to register that the sigh wasn't his. 

His stomach leapt as the truth returned, and his memory caught up with the present. Tom.

Chakotay cracked one eye open, and found himself lying with an armful of warm Tom Paris. The younger man lay with his head on Chakotay's shoulder, lips just touching Chakotay's neck, his soft breath a caress. His arm draped across Chakotay's chest, and one leg lay across his thigh. Chakotay lay there, taking it all in. He felt Tom's body pressed close to his, and didn't know what to think.

Luckily, something else started thinking for him. 

As his cock stirred to life, his hold on Tom tightened slightly, and the blond opened his sleepy eyes.

For a moment, Tom just looked at him, then joy crept over his face.

"'morning, Cha'." he whispered, then his lips were softly placed on Chakotay's cheek, and left a gentle kiss. 

Chakotay lay still as Tom gazed at him, then slowly lifted a hand to stroke the hair above his ears, tracing along the older man's temple, down the cheek to trail over his lips. 

Tom held his fingers there, and stared intently at the older man, clearly waiting for a reaction. So far Chakotay hadn't responded at all to the soft caresses.

His eyes never leaving Tom's, Chakotay pressed his lips against the offered fingertips.

He smiled inwardly as Tom let out a breath. Tom's face brightened as Chakotay drew the elegant fingers into his mouth, and sucked gently. 

Chakotay's tongue ran up and down first one side, then the other, apparently sending urgent, electric messages straight to Tom's groin. He revelled in the desire he saw in the other's eyes. He felt Tom harden immediately, and moaned as Paris pressed firmly against his hip, rolling back and forth in delicious agony.

Without warning, Chakotay grabbed Tom's arse and rolled, placing himself squarely under an excited blond man. Chakotay raised his legs, and manoeuvred so that his lover's cock lay between his cheeks, and rubbed it slowly over his entrance. The younger man's breathing became erratic, and urgent noises issued from his throat.

Chakotay reached to grab a tube of lotion from the bedside table. He allowed Tom to prepare himself by coating his beautiful, rosy cock with the clear substance, but headed off further delay by grasping Tom's hips, and guiding him to his entrance.

Chakotay's desperation seemed all the convincing Tom needed, for he closed his eyes and sank deeply into the older man. 

Tom's lips smothered Chakotay's groan, as they closed together and rocked. Chakotay thrust back as Tom lifted, arching, and thrust with all the rhythm and grace that had made Chakotay insane from wanting him. 

The older man raised his feet to Tom's shoulders, trying to take as much of him in as he possibly could. The rhythm increased, and the pressure, and the sensations, and he saw Tom's head draw back as he bared his throat and chest, trying to reach further, each thrust taking them closer. Chakotay's ankles were grabbed and lifted as he was pounded into. He lost all coherence as he moaned one continuous sound, taking them both to the edge. 

A deep, soul shattering cry was torn from him as his cock erupted, the spasms, the sights, sounds and smells bringing Paris to critical mass. Tom exploded inside Chakotay, filling him. The bigger man lay insensate as Tom collapsed on his body, chest heaving and heart beating hard enough that Chakotay could feel it.

They lay together. Neither felt inclined to move. The room stilled, as their breathing slowed, and their minds reassembled. Slowly the sounds outside the window drifted in, the plaza below going about it's daily business. An insect flew in, and buzzed quietly in the background, waging it's own private war with the gently moving curtains. 

They dozed, a few minutes at a time, then reawoke to find each other still there. Miracles. Spirits.

Eventually Tom lifted himself and propped on his elbows. The two men just looked at each other for a while, then Chakotay's mouth curved upwards, to let the smile show that he felt in his heart. 

"Well Lieutenant, how do you feel?" he asked quietly.

Tom's lips quirked at the corners. "Relieved, Commander." he said. 

Chakotay paused, suddenly insecure. "Would you care to explain, Lieutenant?" he said, trying to keep his voice even.

"I know you wanted me, Cha'. I've known for a while." Tom answered softly. "But I didn't think you'd make it past the barrier you'd drawn. Commanding officer, junior rank. I hoped, Chakotay. But I honestly didn't think you'd allow yourself. Are you sorry?" 

Tom's worried face as he finished, brought a tightness to Chakotay's throat. He breathed in, and gave silent thanks for every prayer that had been answered.

"No, Tom, I'm not sorry. Not at all." He hugged the other man to him and drew his hand gently down Tom's body, soothing, and rejoicing. "We'll work it out. Do you want to? Work it out with me?"

"Yes Cha', I do." Tom answered, leaning into the warm hand stroking his back. "So, where do we go from here?"

Chakotay chuckled. "Well, I think we'll go straight into the shower, if you don't mind. After last night, and this morning, we'll be cemented together if we don't wash soon."

"But, I thought you wanted us to stick together from now on." Tom's not so innocent face and bright eyes made Chakotay laugh again. "OK, so we shower, which I agree, is long overdue. And then?" He looked affectionately at the older man.

"Then, Lieutenant, we try to find our way to this tropical paradise of yours." His teeth nipped playfully at Paris' chin. "We play, and make love, and make the day last as long as possible." A tongue traced the edges of Tom's ear. "Then we fly back to the ship, and we work, and we play, and we make love, for as long as possible." he finished, planting a slow, gentle kiss on Tom's mouth.

Tom's face glowed as he kissed him back. "Oh yeah, Chakotay," he finally breathed, "I love the way you think. And feel. And taste. And..."


Nov 2000

Return to main page

Email me

Free Web Hosting